


In New Light

by Arisprite



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Friendship, Gen, In between scene, Slightly paternal Levi, early morning conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 07:02:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5776111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arisprite/pseuds/Arisprite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the dim hours before they set off to Shiganshina, Mikasa finds a sleepless Levi. Conversations about strength, worry, and the past are had, before the day must be faced.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In New Light

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a conversation with kate7h, from a moment in an unposted fic of hers, where Mikasa talks about what she wanted from the future.

It was a quiet morning. The early dawn sun was lightening the sky, and the base was quiet. They were riding out before sunset that day, and the soldiers had been told to sleep as long as they could, and relax during the morning, so that they could have their strength up. Eren, especially, had been told to sleep, though Mikasa knew that he probably had had trouble, even aside from the late hour they’d gone to bed. Still, as she slipped around corners in the dim light, she’d peeked into the boy’s room, to see that he and Armin were both asleep, though Connie was snoring, and Jean was restlessly shifting in the beds next to them. 

They were riding out today, back to Shiganshina, to the place that Mikasa hadn’t laid eyes on in almost three years. It was there that her world had been reassembled after the first shattering, and then scarcely a year later, had been broken again. She felt like she’d been putting pieces back together since then, and Mikasa knew that she was cutting her fingers on the shards, but she didn’t know how else to do it. There were too many people depending on her strength, not the least of which was Eren, who needed protection. But more than that, he needed her to not break. So she wouldn’t. 

Mikasa wandered out of the base building, and onto the lawn. The grass was dark, too green to be real. It was still chilly, so she pulled up her scarf and took a moment to be glad she’d gotten dressed in her thick trousers and jacket and cloak. 

Mikasa didn’t know what had woken her, aside from general anxiety. She wasn’t one for nervousness usually. She worried for Eren, hovered over the things that were important to her, but her stomach wasn’t twisting because of what was happening today. She just felt… awake. Ready. Not tired, and not overly energized, but just calm. She stepped out onto the dew soaked grass, and began walking. 

Then, ahead of her, a figure appeared, walking along the path that cut through the grass she was on. It was the one that headed towards town, as if the person was returning from a long walk. Mikasa watched as they moved closer, and she suddenly recognized the stature, the stealthy movements, the pale face under cropped black hair. It was Captain Levi. 

He’d already noticed her, of course, and so they angled towards each other, and she saluted. 

“Captain,” she said, hushed respect in her tone. It was early, quiet: it felt wrong to speak too loud. 

He nodded. “Good morning, Mikasa.” 

“Good morning,” she returned. He looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept at all, with the hollows under his eyes taking on new shadows. The light made his face gaunt, and his eyes were dark. Mikasa frowned, minutely. 

“Finished with your examination?” he asked, turning to begin walking past her. His voice was lightly chiding, but not as rude as she’d heard him. She turned and moved to walk beside him. 

“Sir,” she said, not embarrassed. “You look like you haven’t slept.” 

“That would be because I haven’t.” 

Mikasa frowned, knowing it wasn’t her place, but wondering why he’d be so irresponsible to stay up the night before this important day. He glanced at her and ‘tched, in a weary humor. 

“I’m heading there now, to try again, so don’t get your scarf in a knot.” 

“You need your rest, sir,” she said, and he rubbed his face. It was a show of weakness she was surprised by, though ‘Humanity’s Greatest Weapon’ was, of course, only as human as the humanity he protected. 

“I said I was going to try again, soldier. Don’t be a mother hen.”

Mikasa walked beside him silently for a bit. Levi was headed back to base, she could see, but if he couldn’t sleep before, there was no reason for him to be able to fall asleep now. Not if nothing changed. Sleeplessness she knew, and she knew if you spent all your thoughts on how annoyed you were that you weren’t sleeping, you’d never fall asleep. 

“Perhaps, there’s something on your mind, sir? You can talk to me, if you like.” 

Levi stopped, and looked at her, eyebrow lifted. She raised her chin. “I won’t say anything after.” 

“That I believe,” Levi said, with a snort. “Fine.” 

Mikasa just nodded, and they turned their walk back onto the paths that cut through the lawn. After some hesitation, Levi spoke. 

“I’m worried about a lot of things,” he sighed. “You kids. Erwin. The corps. What will happen after we get to that damn basement. What happens if we lose… what happens if we win…” 

Mikasa frowned a bit. “If we win?” 

Levi huffed. “Stupid thing to think about. You three were talking yesterday, and I heard. About the … ocean, was it? I’ve never heard of that.”

“It’s something Armin read in a book. A lake of salt water that stretches past the horizon.” 

“Sounds insane,” Levi said, and Mikasa nodded. 

“Yes, but Eren and Armin have been talking about it since we met.” 

Levi hummed, and looked off into the distance. His long coat fluttered in the slight breeze, and Mikasa tugged her scarf up, just for the warmth. 

“You really think, after this war is over, that we’ll be able to just go sight seeing out there?” Levi asked, and Mikasa breathed in. 

“Perhaps. I’d like it if I could settle somewhere, and not have to fight anymore.” Mikasa spoke more freely than she usually would, aware that Levi too was being vulnerable. Her words were met with a huff of derision, though Mikasa got the feeling that it wasn’t meant towards her. 

“I can’t even imagine a world without having to fight.” Levi pushed his hands deeper into his pockets. “Since I was a child, I’ve had to fight to live.” 

Mikasa remembered the rumors she’d heard, that Levi had been a thug, a criminal who had been pulled up from the Underground to be a soldier. It may be true, it may not be, but the real haunted look in Levi’s eyes recalled a lifetime of hardship. Mikasa knew her own life had been difficult, had hardened her, but at least she had some happy memories. She knew how it was to be at peace. 

Levi sighed, pulling his hand out of his pocket and rubbed at his hair. Then he turned to walk back towards base. 

“I forget how young you all are, damn kids.” 

They walked in silence for a little while, before Levi stopped again, and turned towards her, his face shadowed but softer than it had been. 

“I hope you get your peace, Mikasa.”

“You too,” she said, and he laughed again, sounding maybe slightly less bitter. 

“You know what they say about old dogs. I’ll settle for not dying, and getting Erwin through to the other side too.” Levi’s voice was contemplative, quiet, and Mikasa figured he was getting to the real roots of his worries. She knew the Commander had been different since they returned from that last expedition. He’d left his arm behind, and with all that went on, he’d subtly less ...assured, slightly strained. Probably no one had noticed, but Mikasa had seen how Levi watched him whenever they were in the same room. 

“Captain Levi… “ she started, and he turned to her with a curious look on his face. It encouraged her to say what she felt. “I watched my parents die. The people who should have protected me, who were, to my child’s eyes, the strongest people in world, were cut down in front of me. It’s hard to see someone who’s always been strong falter.” 

Levi had been looking at her with confusion, but his eyes cleared and his lips quirked, realizing what she was attempting. 

“I’d say that comparison is a little heavily weighted on your side, child. I saw my mother die too, and those emotions are far more than this little concern for Erwin. Don’t worry about me.”

“I’m sorry about your mother,” she said. 

“You too.” Levi took a breath in, and then yawned. “Well, I’d say I can try bed again, thanks to you.” He looked a little more calm, shoulders looser. He began to step off, nodding back at her. 

Mikasa nodded, and smiled slightly at him. “Good night, sir.” 

He eyed the sky, which was pink with the rising sun, smirking. “Good night to you. I’ll expect all of you at your best later today.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

She let him walk off, staying where she was on the lawn. The air was clearing, and warming with the dawn, and she knew that soon the city outside their base would be waking up. With the permission to sleep in, the soldiers probably wouldn’t stir for a while, and she hoped that all who needed it would get enough sleep today, including Levi. She’d seen a strong man weak today, but it didn’t make her think any less of him. Perhaps, it was good she’d run into him.


End file.
